Every year, I see a Christmas tree at Rockfeller Center.
Jewelry District where I buy findings and tools is just one block away from here.
In the past few years when I saw the tree, I always thought of my family.
Two years ago, I took a photo of a x'mas tree with my phone and emailed it to my family.
Last year, I thought of my father who was getting weak everyday at a hospice and I felt guilty to be there in front of festive people taking pictures of the tree.
This year, we are going to spend our first x'mas without our father.
In front of the tree, I suddenly remembered how he smiled when I came home in Japan, and how he yelled at us at a quiet hospital in Kyoto.
I sometimes feel like I am walking on very soft cloud.
It's surreal that I live in New York, and my father is gone.
I love Christmas decorations in town, but it somehow makes me sentimental.
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